You must be smo … joking!

I get annoyed. I don’t mean to go all Muckracker on y’all, but sometimes I get really annoyed.

I get annoyed when I read The Herald, not because of the shoddy Engrish, or the hack-job editing. No. It’s the stories themselves that piss me off.

Like the tale of the day … Outrage over Tsvangirai boycott. Well.

Zimbabweans yesterday roundly condemned MDC-T leader Mr Morgan Tsvangirai’s decision to boycott a Sadc Troika meeting…

Misleading, right off the bat. “Zimbabweans”, is it? I count four Zimbabweans quoted in the article roundly condemning MT. Two are fanatical Mugabe mouthpieces, whilst the other two “man-on-the-street” quotes may as well be blind quotes.

If the “Herald Reporter” (may as well read Office of the President) had been bothered to actually survey across the wide spectrum of Zimbabweans, I think he’d have been hard-pressed to find anyone as “disappointed and disillusioned” as Anna Kahari.

They are sowing seeds of chaos and mayhem and the people of Zimbabwe will hold Tsvangirai liable.

No ma’am. With all due respect, we know who to hold liable for any chaos or mayhem. Trust me, we won’t be very forgiving of their apologists either. Shameless.

Zanu-PF accused MDC-T of “waffling” and trying to hide behind the issue of a passport in a bid to derail the inter-party talks.

I like that. The issue of a passport. Why has it become an issue in the first place? Surely SOMEONE in The Party realises that MT’s freedom of movement is being restricted. Surely the “constitution” has been read by at least SOME of the Party Functionaries. Surely? Issue?

And yes, Bright Matonga is always good for a laugh. Even though I may be related to the poor delusional bugger.

There is no one who is bigger than the wishes of the people of Zimbabwe.

What we want to make very clear as Zanu-PF and Government is that no one will ever hold this country to ransom, we do not care who they are.

Well said, hama. Though it makes me wonder, what with all the hoarding and shit going on in Harare, someone must have a really big stash of the good stuff.

Pass the drugs, guys. Sharing is caring.

P.S. Almost in the same breath, we also get stories about Zim getting US$500m from the Global Fund, over 700,000 people being fed by World Vision (alone), and Harare firefighters striking over food.

Let’s blame it all on Tsvangirai and his illegal sanctions, eh? Oh.

39 Replies to “You must be smo … joking!”

  1. hahaha, that’s funny.

    That statement in the Herald about “There is no one who is bigger than the wishes of Zimbabwe” is cruel – clearly RGM is bigger πŸ™‚

  2. I know. It’s like they’re being deliberately ironic. Shameless buggers!

    Oh yeah, that Kyle Doyle thing. Someone claimed it’s a fake, but you never know.

  3. *Giggle* You would have to be a complete moron to Friend a boss.

    I am thinking the article came straight form the ZANU office or there is a slight possibility the author/s is taking the piss.

  4. You should know that all that stuff is planted – like letters to the editor, none of it is real.

    The price of beer has gone down at my club and so has fuel at the service station I go to.

  5. Can you blame the herald for MT’s failure to get a passport! I ask u. Y doesnt he join the queue to pay in forex like the rest of did instead of making excuses on a daily basis. If as PM elect he cant get an ETD, pray tell how on earth does he expect to effect any turnaround in the country. That guy get F*&% all sympathy from me! he is crying for a passport, to do what with it – maybe someone should have told him that if the King offers u his private jet, there is no need for Customs & Immigration to stamp your passport. ELEMENTARY stuff here boys & girls

  6. Squire is Nathaniel Manheru is disguise. Well everyone in the real world even Jacob Zuma thinks it is stupid. MT has made numerous applications only to have it rejected. Doesn’t matter if the payment is made in us dollar or shona dollars the excuse is the same.

    Also ETD’s are issued and valide for certain countries. I found that out on a recent trip to Malawi where a colleague was let into Malawi but on the way out it was noticed that his document was not valid for travel is SA.

    In case you did not know an ETD is an EMERGENCY Travel Document

  7. Too many gremlins in the above post – “his document was not valid for travel in Malawi” not SA. Jigga was distracting me

  8. Buff, my point is how can u expect to be a PM and make an impact on zimbo lives if he cant even get a passport. An observant person would have realised that his ETD had a certain number of countries he could enter – did he fill in his application correctly????? Too many excuses and not enough action

  9. Squire, I know you better than that so don’t be a fucking idiot.

    Are YOU blaming MT for not having a passport yet? Cos if you are then you smoking that good shit, cos he’s not in charge of the passport office, it’s the RG. And you know who that is, and who he works for.

    How can he expect to be a PM when he can’t get a passport? Ask your Uncle Bob that, instead of ranting about how MT is innefectual. Fact is, he doesn’t have the power to change shit yet, that power should be resting in the hands of the people, but has been appropriated by one man and his ego-support-unit.

    Too many excuses and not enough action. What action are you proposing, from the comfort of Durban-on-sea or JHB or wherever you are now?

  10. Not often that I find myself agreeing with JB on matters politic especially in Zim, but I concur.

    MT gave ground and signed a deal that many people weren’t happy with in the spirit of compromise, now even that is being thrown back in his face and the few demands that ZPF had initially conceded they are now abrogating.

    MT’s hands are tied, in all fairness, without getting people killed, which in itself has proven ineffective as ZPF refuses to acknowledge any deaths or their part in causing them, and he doesn’t have much recourse to action.

  11. Fact is, we can now see that YES, we got screwed. And I’m not talking MDC, but we the People.

    Uncle Bob’s pulled ye olde bat and switch. Shoulda seen it coming, people.

  12. Yes am by the sea-side in anticipation of the Currie Cup. MT has been fighting for a passport since when? A passport guys – I am dead serious, if ever MT has exposed himself it is now!!!! LOL, next he will cry his i.d. has his name spelt wrong. I stand by statement, too many excuses

  13. I don’t get it, what exactly are you saying? MT is crying because he hasn’t been issued a new passport, after his VALID one ran out of pages.

    Who should be embarrassed here … MT or the idiot who’s denying him what is rightfully his?

  14. why should MT be fighting for a passport. it took me only three weeks (last month) to renew mine from the bloody diaspora.

    if giving MT a new passport is such an issue, then how could they possibly be sincere about giving him any power

  15. Maybe Squire doesn’t realise how the passport system works, that you can’t just wish yourself a passport, someone actually has to process it. And that someone has a supervisor/superior who wields significant authority and can make 1)application forms disappear 2)stall an application such that ukashaya munhu anofambisa zvinhu, hapana chinobuda. Which is why it’s so easy to bribe people into fast-tracking things because someone can light a fire under your ass and get things moving.

  16. Correct me if Im wrong but wasn’t MT’s passport confiscated?? I foget the reason.. but I suspect it would be even harder for a public figure like him to bribe passport officials into issuing him a new passport.

    This whole saga says a lot about the kind of people we have running our country. Theres a serious lack of “quality” leadership in this country and we will continue to pay the price until someone is ready to stand up and be counted. Great countries have great leaders.

  17. Actually, I believe MT is a great leader. Compare him with the malicious, vindictive and STUBBORN guys who were running it before (and are illegitimately running it now).

    Taneta phurizi, ngavatinzwirewo.

  18. So I hear the Reserve Bank is now printing the Grade 7 exam papers after Zimsec failed to do so… seems the RBZ solves all the problems…

  19. I think it’s perfectly logical for the RBZ to be printing Grade 7 papers, who else do you know who has such a fine record in and is exceptionally qualified to print, print, print! All those notes floating around on bond paper, how is that different from just adding a few thousand more words and transforming them into exam papers. Let’s forget that there are government companies responsible for printing, which are apparently now coining it, literally, since they are now the official government mint.

    And JB, as for MT being a ‘great’ leader, I think that might be overstating your cause a little. Great pakudii?

  20. Great because he’s been at the forefront of the struggle for change in this country for ten years, despite unstinting persecution and actual bodily harm.

    Your turn.

  21. That is ageism! Besides, we are in the same age bracket.

    So does your girl Palin look just as scrumptious in jeans and a blazer as she did in her designer gear? The republicans are such fuckups. That sick Obama Granny thing is one hell of a stroke of luck. Not that the granny is sick, but the fact that BO is taking time off to spend time with his WHITE (cue the family pictures) granny reminding (or informing) middle America that the boy is not as black (evil) as they believe. Kinda helps counter the McCain strategy of over-using the phrase ‘this race’ in a bid to subliminaly remind people that BO is BLACK. Imagine the news had it been about the Gran in Africa who had fell ill.

  22. Buffdaddy, you do both me and yourself a disservice by labelling me an MT hater. I just don’t think that any politician should be above scrutiny and people should always be willing to ask the difficult questions. I fully support MT’s efforts to try to bring about that all-elusive change but that doesn’t mean I am going to support him blindly. This is how we got into this pickle we are in now.

  23. No-one asked you to support MT blindly Elle, in fact I maintain a healthy cynicism when it comes to all pols. I’m not a blind Obamacon (I did pound him on his FISA capitulation) but I haven’t yet found reason to criticise MT.

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