All aboard the gravy train

I know my place in life. I am no journalist, and could never pretend to have the know-how, the command of English or the legal savvy to effectively practise journalism (yeah, right).

That is why I’ve refrained from blogging on recent political events in Zimbabwe, including (but not limited to) the so-called Government of National Unity. Any posts would simply be reportage, and I’m here to offer commentary, not give the news.

But some shit just can’t be ignored.

Screw the fact that we have 71 ministers, deputies and governors. SEVENTY ONE. Never mind that some (if not most) of these people have proven themselves failures over long and inglorious political careers. Never mind that anyone who agreed to this whole messy marriage was grossly misled and it will all end in tears.

Today’s Herald is talking about Permanent Secretaries being re-assigned. A couple of names jumped out at me,ย  so I picked one at random and did a little Googling.

Dr Ray Ndhlukula has been re-assigned as Deputy Chief Secretary for Policy Co-ordination and Administration in the Office of the President …

Okay, so we have no idea what HIS job is, then. But then I looked back a few years, to when our friend was being rather … partisan.

According to the country’s Public Service Commission, anyone working for or wanting to join the civil service will be tested on their level of loyalty to the ruling Zanu-PF party.

Prospective entrants who fail the test will not be employed. Those who are already employed could be dismissed.

According to Ray Ndhlukula, Secretary of the Public Service Commission, there are too many people working in the civil service who are not committed to the ruling party and government.

This, said Mr Ndhlukula, cannot continue – hence the new stringent tests beginning next year.

Now ask yourself; does the current mish-mash gov’t require consensus on such appointments? Because I’m pretty fucking sure there would be some protest at someone so wildly … OFFSIDE being allowed to live on my tax dollars.

Oh well, I guess once you’re on that gravy train you can never get off in Our Zimbabwe. Oh wait, I forgot.

Severely disabled people may need some help disembarking.

26 Replies to “All aboard the gravy train”

  1. In Zanu-speak its re-assignment, in ANC-speak its re-deployment. To the people its getting screwed over.
    And the people thought THEY chose their public officials. Once again a government is only as fair as its accountable to the people, like a society is only as civilized as the strength of its police force.

    Re-assignment is old – Its what happened to Dzingai Mtumbuka, Enos Nkala and all such scum after they pulled off the willowgate Toyota Cressida scandal; Tsimba after he mistook the Z$1.5 million (it was a proper million then!) for the ZBC Radio satellite for his entertainment allowance; Chikowore after drinking all the country’s diesel; Kangai after munching all the grain at the GMB depots…..ad infinitum, well almost. they all got re-assigned to remote diplomatic missions then came back after the dust had settled to be senators and governors and somesuch vermin.

    Point – hopefully we as a nation, battered, bruised, dispersed, some dead, have emerged wiser and knowing that our destiny is safest, and only logically so, in our hands and ours to control. Not some political party.

    Bashing your head against the wall a hundred times can be excused, but expecting a different result each time is insanity. We have caught a wake up from the Zanu bunch, which, sadly, we needed to prompt us out of our docility.
    Scary thing is we are about to embark on the same journey with the MDC.
    Like in Animal Farm, give it five years and you shall not be able to tell Tendai Mnangagwa from Emmerson Biti and Nelson Shamuyarira from Nathan Chamisa.

  2. @ J Beezy
    Watching John Nyashanu make “determine” rhyme with “undermine” makes me cringe…
    I dont care much for the accent or lack of vocab, but at least put emphaaasis on the right syllaaables. (apologies..Austin Powers)

  3. Okay, enough about politics. LIVERPOOL!!! LIVER-POOOOOOL!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!! HOHOHOHOHOHO>

    Right. Oh, and I don’t see the MDC turning into ZPF, cos remember it’s a party made up of diverse civil service organs, each with a dedication to civil liberties and human rights.

  4. Liverwho? ๐Ÿ™‚

    Politics is here Beezy, its the reason im in Boerland and cant be meeting you for a daily Millers after work…

    I differ to beg. The MDC is what it is because of the situation its in. They cannot be anything but dedicated to civil liberties and human rights – but that is only because they are not in power – and are on the receiving end of those injustices. Similarly, Zanu is what it is because they have been allowed to build up absolute power. Give anyone unlimited absolute power over you and you will get what you deserve. There is truth to people getting the leaders they deserve. It is the same principle with not setting your boundaries at the outset of any relationship, romantic, work or social.

    Im a strong believer in predicting the future by studying the past, particularly in politics, you will find that the democratic follies we are witnessing now were discussed at length even during the time of the first Roman Republic that gave rise to the first democratic dictator in the world – Julius Caesar. I am not in doubt about WOZA, NCA, MDC, ZINASU etc and their stand for civil rights. What concerns me gravely is the willingness of the Zimbabwean people to once again leave their livelihoods in the hands of a few individuals.

    Dambudzo Marechera wrote and spoke about the demon we were creating in our blind faith in Zanu PF and our “liberators” at the onset of independence. And what he got in return was ostracization and ridicule for being out of his mind…(which in all fairness he was often…)… He must be doing double-turns in his paupers grave right now, first for the inevitable horrid turn of events with Zanu PF and the second for our jubilation and hopefulness as we plunge ourselves with gusto into the same quagmire.

  5. Yeah! What Mos Native said. He seems to be stealing the thoughts right out of my head, before I even articulate them. I like him! JB, you could learn a thing or two from this bloke! ๐Ÿ™‚

    PS: Am with Mos Native on the Liverpool front too! ๐Ÿ™‚
    PPS: JB, before you start fronting about me kissing ass or whatever, don’t be jealous. You do have your moments. ๐Ÿ™‚

  6. Bunch of classless, unoriginal mofos. So you all blindly agree with everything he said? Children, children.

    Have you just implied you’re the new Dambudzo, because here you are warning us about the folly of putting all our eggs in the Chinja basket?

  7. Oh Beezy, let a brotha have his 15 minutes!

    @ BD & Tara…Geezlike guys, y’รกll just gave me that warm fuzzy feeling you get after waking up first thing in the morning and knowing you studied hard the previous night and got yo sh!t on lockdown ๐Ÿ™‚

  8. Beezy, you coming off all Dizzy! So I’ma let that one slide.

    But seriously, accusing us of being unoriginal? That is the fucking point, no amount originality is going to change the fact that history could just be waiting to repeat itself, and the way things are going, it damn well just might. And I’ma keep on going on about it until at least you get the message! ๐Ÿ™‚

    MosNav, don’t be modest. You deserve it. (I can so see that grin on your face and hear the tooth kissing from JB)

  9. @Tara – I give in, guilty as charged!!!

    ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚

  10. Now, now children – place nice or should I said tambai zvakanaka.

    I am the biggest MT fan but am disappointed no end the he is going to Bob’s birthday. it’s a crying shem – shit dammit, motherfucker. Sorry daddy had to vent. Anyway, it’s another beer weekend. Black there is a show with the a Spanish trio at the art gallery – it’s free. If you listened to my show you would have heard them.

    France, Blue, Bulls, Ireland in that order.

    MDC – glass is half full
    Zany’s is half empty

    Zimbabwe is drunk

  11. Wait … he’s actually GOING TO MUGABE’S BIRTHDAY PARTY? Yeah, that’s pretty fucked up. WHYYYY????

    I read something about the Spanish okes, too bad I didn’t catch your radio show, actually need to get a mobile that’s got FM.

  12. Off-fun’n’games today – playing full-back for some obscure team in some obscure league in some obscure part of the western cape tomorrow.

    So the J.O.C henchmen boycotted MTs swearing in but HE attends the geriatrics caviar bash?

    “I believe in brotherhood….but I do not believe in brotherhood with anyone who does not believe in brotherhood with me.” Malcom X

    Or maybe MTs just being civil…to people who dont give a flying f@ck.

  13. Word has it of an 85kg cake presented to the Great Uncle to mark the festivities. I mean seriously, that is the combined weight of two Japanese women! (the ones bordering on the ‘large’ side, the ones who find themselves eating two square meals a day)

  14. Anyway – MT didn’t go after all. Not sure whether it was the public outcry on rustygate.org or what. It is said that after looking at the agenda/programme he realised that it was a Zany event and not a national one. Instead he toured Harare Hospital where he received a thunderous response.

    I got four out of four. Backed the three blue rugby teams and one green. I knew Liverpool would lose against M’boro (that’s how they abbreviate it on tv) the minute the final whistle blue at Real.

    The Spanish thing was OK but the free food and booze was better.

  15. “the public outcry on rustygate.org”…lol…

    M’boro – mo lol!!! – im sho thr’s enuf Zims ‘n Eng’nd 2 snd a pblc ‘tcry agnst tht abbrev.

  16. Etc huh? I find that to be a very non-committal term. Used by those who really aren’t bovvered! You bovvered Beezy? ๐Ÿ™‚

    Things are a bit slow up in herre. Ain’t it time for a new post a at least a new drama in JB’s life. And before you come back with ‘write something’, give me a break. You know I’m only here, as you say, ‘because my life is boring!’

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