Freedom: definitely NOT a festering pile of shyte

Today, Zimbabweans worldwide “celebrate” their 27th year of independence from settler rule. Yes kids, it’s been a whole 27 years since we threw off the shackles of colonialism, and let us not forget our freedom was not granted, but taken after a long and protracted struggle, in which many of our gallant sons and daughters gave their lives to return our land to its rightful owners.

I should be in advertising.

Anyway, I have definitely been caught up in the patriotic fervour, and am looking forward to celebrating our Independence haaard! Not that a time like this would be used for reflection, self-analysis and (God forbid) debate on our nation’s status and identity over a quarter-century after we “threw off” the proverbial shackles.

Definitely not a time to be questioning ourselves, and our Honourable Members, where things might be going wrong and what we can do to fix them before we…oops, almost overstepped my “freedoms” there.

Yes, we shall celebrate, and those of us still blessed to be living here at home (the true sons and daughters of the proverbial soil) shall enjoy it! I for one definitely won’t be saying shit like this;

I have great respect for the heroes who died for our country – it’s the ones who survived that I have a problem with.

Oh no, lest I be wrongly accused of being un-patriotic and a Blairite agent of neo-imperialistic Western-backed hegemony. Hegemony sounds infectious (but of course Pari can treat it).

So I shall definitely celebrate, and celebrate hard. Hunger, uhm, I mean FAILURE is not an option, so I’ll bask in the glory of our hard-won independence.

Woohoo, freedom!

Yippee-ki-yay, motherfecker.Bruce Willis, Die Hard Something-or-other

34 Replies to “Freedom: definitely NOT a festering pile of shyte”

  1. hegemony being infectious, i think the infectious diseases hospital is in mbare or something. start trekking. although the best you might get is 3 paracetamol, if its a good day. at least you are not in sarff airfrika where you would be told to eat garlic, or indulge in a herbal remedy or two or some such other hocus pocus mumbo jumbo Manto-Msimang inspired madness.

  2. “I have great respect for the heroes who died for our country-it’s the ones who survived that I have a problem with”

    That’s a classic line, well done and wish you the best for getting your “freedoms” back!

  3. as equally as thabo does not believe in the big H causing aids, so we as Africans with strong cultural and traditional roots do not subscribe to the mythological creations of Western manifestations such as vampires.

  4. For what, nhai? Why would anyone want to arrest an innocent patriot like me?

    aChic that’s like saying you don’t believe in Santa…blasphemy!

  5. I have great respect for the heroes who died for our country-it’s the ones who survived that I have a problem with


  6. Yes that is definitely a great line ndichatorishandisa mubhawa nhasi!! so are they packing people into the GIANT national stadium and feedig them all sezvakudhara?

  7. Yigga wanakirwa? I don’t think the celebrations are at the National Sports this year, isn’t it closed for renovations or summin?

    I think it’s at Rufaro, cos there were some Chinese builders being paraded there a few weeks ago, renovating it for something or other…and I doubt that was all for a Dynamos match!

  8. so what national resources did we have to ransom this time for the national monstrosity to be renovated. we trust the chinese enough to do renovations on something that they didnt get right the first time?

  9. Nope, haven’t met any water-cannons myself, I’m a peaceful man so why would I?

    Surely, since the Chinese built it, they’re the best to fix it? And of course I contribute to the fiscus so I have no qualms about them using my tax dollars to fix our white ele..I mean national stadium.

  10. think football. when a manager f##ks up royally, you dont wait around for him to fix his expensive mistakes, you hire somebody else who can do better with the prevailing resources. in this life, there should only be once chance. two chances and somebody is not being serious.

  11. lol, yeah that was a great line “I have great respect for the heroes who died for our country-it’s the ones who survived that I have a problem with”

    nice blog, ive been a ‘silent’ reader for a while

  12. Hi Larry…what u failin’ to understand? Anyway, today we’re CELEBRATING…blah blah 🙂

    Thanks Yazmine, always good to hear from the peeps. Tell us a story

  13. Joe, you had tim to write on this. Woulda thunk you would be getting legless instead. How is it going there. Just gave a friend a lecture on the Zimbabwean flag and what the bird means. She was impressed. Even sang the first verse to the anthem and translated it. Anyway, try not to embarrass yourself and HAPPY 27th.

  14. By celebrating, I mean relaxing and doing nothing…alcoholic 🙂

    I see you still a patriot…but how does the second verse start? And don’t Google it, that’s cheating!

  15. one man’s meat and all that, Major

    JB, come on over and I will kung fu your ass. although kung fu is more Chinese, but you get my drift.

  16. we do what we can, majordomo…

    @ aChic, surely you want engage in some karat-ay? You’re the kind of people we’re missing here at home…the fighters

  17. iiiii, JB, I am not quite ready to shuffle off my mortal coil just yet. coz pitting myself vessus (sic) those possessing degrees in violence agenest (sic) my highbrow french and spanish degree is tantamount to suicide.

  18. My friend is sleeping with her boss, can you believe that? I only know one person with degrees in violence.

  19. Hell yes! Shez complaining now that he doesn’t respect her any more bla bla how is a woman supposed to get ahead in the workplace, when all the men ever see is a piece of meat? I’m not absolving her of the blame, because of what she did now shez nothing!!

  20. Tino, chances are your friend’s boss never respected her to begin with. so she should not feel that she lost his respect coz she probably never had it to begin with. Because respect does not do that to people. With these things, you have to know what you are getting into, and most importantly, WHY you are getting in to these things. If you know that 1. he is married, 2. he is your boss, what can you possibly be hoping to get out of it. You had better pray at least that the sex is good, or that he has a lot of money, because other than that there is not much else you can hope to get out of it. So please dont be crying wolf, or rape, or whatever, because when you go into these things, no one is being forced at gunpoint. And everyone is an adult around here. If people are going to be fools, let them do it on their own time.

  21. She wanted to get laid, how is that foolish? Let’s not persecute the bi…oops girl just because she saw an opportunity and took it!

  22. I have no problem with people wanting to get laid. We all need to get ours. But let’s not bring r.e.s.p.e.c.t into the equation.

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