Open Letter to Open Letter to Toni Braxton

by Posted on

This was a twitter rant, but I may as well write it all down here for my Facebook Philistines.

I had no choice but to respond to mass stupidity regarding the upcoming Toni Braxton and Babyface show.

First of all, Victoria Falls.

Nobody is obliged to come to Zimbabwe and visit the “majestic” Victoria Falls.

It’s really just a wall of falling water – don’t assume that Toni Braxton gives a feck about it.

Let’s be honest, you don’t want Toni Braxton to SEE the Victoria Falls; you want her to BE SEEN at Victoria Falls, and take photos there, and tweet about how majestic they are.

If you love the Falls so much, YOU go there and take photos and market the destination. Nobody else is forced to.

She didn’t make it to “her” press conference, huh? Did she say she would? Or did her promoter say she would?

Have you seen her contract? Did it include any press availability? If it did, and she didn’t bother to show, then surely her promoter can take a legal route with her management and sort that out.

Face it, a press conference is a marketing tool. Does she need to market this show? Does she need to smile at you press monkeys and charm you so you can go write glowing tributes about her forthcoming show?

This is not Paul Two or P Square or whatever they’re called who need to go to every radio station in Harare, touting their show at the Summer Beer Festival and begging fans to turn out in their numbers.

We are too used to seeing artists running around doing all this press and marketing for free because they need numbers. Well, guess what?

This is Toni fecking Braxton, multi-Grammy winner and Queen of Everything Beautiful For Years and Years.

As for this “Welcome Party” I’m sure the grown men and women who sat around just praying to see Toni Braxton had better things to do with their time, otherwise they’re not really that “grown” are they?

Do you know that big celebs are actually paid to show up at events? Why don’t you ask Uebert Angel, who paid people to mumble birthday messages into cameras for him? They don’t just show up for feck-all. You got duped. Take it up with whoever promoted that party.

Security concerns is a straw man, so I can’t be arsed to reply to “… I am assuming your non appearance is due to perhaps security concerns?” because that’s just someone’s imagination working overtime.

As for ticket prices and poverty, you don’t see me crying outside ZIMOCO whining and whining because I can’t afford a Benz. There are financial lanes, and we all should stay in them.

I personally couldn’t afford a ticket to the Toni Braxton show. If you can’t afford one, go see Alicky Macheso at Pamuzinda, or one of the 47 Chimbetu brothers around. It is allowed. Let your wallet be your guide.

Apparently, Steward Bank organised some business dinner for her, with Walter Mzembi and the SA Ambassador. And she “snubbed” it.

Hahahaha.

Again, was she paid? If she wasn’t paid to appear, then there’s no point. She still has choices, right?

If this meeting or dinner was scheduled with her directly, and she was paid for it, then I’m sure her promoter will sue her for it for breaching her contract and whoever paid her for her appearance will sue to get their money back.

Otherwise, remember, she doesn’t owe you shit.

Toni Braxton doesn’t have to walk around the flea market or stand in the sunroof of a Hummer driving down Samora Machel and hooting for her to do what she came here to do.

If you’re holding a ticket to the Toni Braxton and Babyface show, then she owes you a show.

Otherwise, she doesn’t really owe you anything else.

If she chooses to remain holed up on the top floor of a 5-star hotel while preparing for her show, that is her choice.

Next thing you’re gonna be blaming her for job losses in Zimbabwe.

Grow the feck up.

Published by Joe Black

42 Replies to “Open Letter to Open Letter to Toni Braxton”

  7. Lol, people going crazy over Braxton… I’m too busy having a life, I didn’t even know about a Braxton performing.

  10. Ha ha ha ha wow this response is just on point. Dayyyyyym.
    So much for penning open letters which are not fully researched.
    Keep the shots coming. I am so enjoying this.

  12. i could never have said it better! great article
    People just don’t have money for this and want to find excuses to put on social media as to why they are not going.

  13. spot on, you are so right!!!if you want to see her, pay her don’t blame her for not turning up if you haven’t
    paid!!!!

  20. We all know Toni Braxton is big if she can snub a Minister, and Toni Braxton probably has more money than Steward Bank, Fucking hell she has more money than Zim, She snubbed the dinner because she thought Walter Mzembi and Steward Bank were going to ask her to bail out Zimbabwe from its economic woes !

    1. If you read the rest of my blog you’ll understand that I swear. I use profanity liberally and with no fucks given. That’s how I talk and write

  22. arha dude tht seemed emotional…is she your cousin? the staff tht we direct our efforts in Zimbabweans is concerning. which ever level u put Toni shes just one of the many artists tht are passing through zim n shortly to be forgotten just like joe Thomas who I believe you wld agree is on the sme level as her…as u wld sae. my zim brther who u grow up n stop whining abt it to the extent of writing this long thought out article like u being paid for it by Toni, u myt consider writing other important staff. We have mo pressing issues in our busy Zimbabwean lives to bother abt Toni…tingangoendawo kunorefresher todzoka not to mk a fuss out of it. Misplaced talent ny brther!

    1. Hahahahahaha I always laugh when people say shit like this – I write what I like, if there’s more “important staff” and other pressing issues feel free to write about it, my writing this long thing about Toni doesn’t stop YOU from writing what you want

  23. Iyi article ma 1… What I really like about this article is the free expression of the writer’s thoughts. I don’t quite like the swearing in the article as i believe one doesn’t need to be violent on any level to be understood or to make a point. I’m not picking a fight here but merely saying well done to 1) freely expressing your thoughts but 2) the language should be more professional and mature. Your article touches on an element that I have noted in just too many of our peoples – “A sense of entitlement”. Well Toni is from a true capitalist nation and the writer is absolutely right in that Toni is in Zimbabwe on business not charity. People’s imaginations often run wild, as noted by the writer, when the answer is simply ‘What was in it for her to do that???’. When was the last time you did something for someone for FREE??? And now you expect a citizen of the world’s most capitalist nation to do FREEBIES like a socialist?

    Thank you for writing this article because your arguments are, despite the language, educative – hopefully this sort of enlightenment can help achieve a paradigm shift so that our people stop this victim mentality that is self defeating. If you don’t like what an artist does then it’s your right to not support them, but stop thinking that everyone is business is an NGO! Even NGOs want something for the “FREEBIES”; Now that’s an article the writer can publish some day! lol

  25. hahahaha!!! not a single fuck given. if you had a bag full of fucks, i bet you wouldnt give one to save your drowning mother…loool

  27. And this right here is the problem with Africans, especially the one in the South. We think everyone lighter skinned or from “overseas” is doing us a favour.

    Fair enough, unless there was a contract, Toni has no obligation to do anything but show up and sing.

    However, being a public figure is more than just about a paycheck! That’s why stars do meet and greet session and all that. For a celebrity to snub anyone, that is bad for her brand.

    Since you clearly think very low of yourself and fellow Africans, you will probably say Toni won’t give a “fuck” whether some Africans think she is rude or not BUT get your facts right. She might have the Grammys but she is no longer an A-list star. Without people in this continent and elsewhere out of America, she would be a has-been.

    My point is simple; instead of berating your fellow Africans and insulting them for expecting some common courtesy from Toni, you should be encouraging them to suppress our local artists more so that people like Toni Braxton would be a bit more courteous when they visit our countries.

    We have to create our own stars. The whole notion that anything from America is better and more superior and should be exempt from having some manners or show appreciation to our countries when we host them, should stop!

    You may think Toni Braxton doesn’t need us lowly Africans because she is American and probably has money. BUT money is no measure of character. We don’t need her too.

    #AfricanPride #Ubuntu

  28. @Bobo get some common sense, you wrote nothing but bull, while you at it get some knowledge about business as well. How you accusing Toni of things she never agreed to. She spoke about the people, food and gave away tickets… What you call that. Don’t speak on things you know nothing about..make you look stupid

  32. toni z simply da best…da show ws simply a memorable experience for me…why do pple hve to cry foul coz she played d.l…dats her choice…she z & will alwayz b TONI BRAXTON…mazimbo tine dambudziko guru- kushora….wld it enhance da tckt sales hd she gone all out @ her expense (financially/healthwise?????

  35. Vaudze munhu mutema…. mabharanzi, havazive kuti zvinhu zvine contract, just because a star landed doesn’t mean you have your way with them. Ane zvimwewo zvekuita… and if you cant afford something just get the hell out of the way and go cry under a rock, ukuvhara nzira neka Sapcio kako, ibvapo…

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