Customer v Cashier: part one in a series of sextillion events

So I walk up to the girl at Ballantyne Spar with two sixpacks of Mountain Dew in hand (the fact that I was buying Mountain Dew should have been alarming in itself, but anywho).

I’m hungover, I’m sweating, I have no power at home and it’s blistering out. So I’m in no mood for shit. Shit ensues.

She looks from cans of sugar-water to me, back to cans, back to me.

“Do you have changed money?”

Me: “Do you know how much the drinks cost?”

She: “No, but I do know I have no change at all,” indicating the till clearly stuffed with nothing but large bills.

And by large bills, I mean nothing smaller than a ten. Hey, I’m a Zimbabwean, gimme a break.

Me: “Well, if you don’t know how much it costs, how can you assume I’ll need change? Why don’t you just ring it up, please?”

She: “Do you have exact money for the drinks? I won’t be able to give you any change …”

Me, clearly annoyed: “No, I don’t have exact change. The stuff costs 9.90 and I have a fifty, so no, I don’t have exact money.”

She: … blank stare …

Me: “That was sarcasm.”

She: … confused, looks around, maybe for a supervisor …

Me: “Just ring up the drinks, the change doesn’t matter to me.”

So she rings up the fecking six-packs, and is pleasantly surprised when they tally up to exactly $9.90 as I’d said. I hand her a fifty, and she sheepishly says to me …

… “What’s sarcasm?”

P.S. – To hydrate either the flu or a mild hangover, try Mountain Dew. For a strong hangover, use beer. Just saying.

19 Replies to “Customer v Cashier: part one in a series of sextillion events”

  1. Tara, ramba kuwanzirwa! I have never known getting a man to solve any problems, just creates a whole new set of dramas!

  2. Joe, if that is true, I can tell you that the douche bag described in Zimbo Dudes (YAWN) isn’t IT!

    Thanks for having my back Elle 🙂

  3. may not solve her problems but if she got a man she would have less time for such observations

    after all, we all know JB would never join any of those silly groups. right Joe?

  4. ‘may not solve her problems but if she got a man she would have less time for such observations’. How exactly do you figure that? Women can multi-task their obsessions

  5. Joe, the man asked you a question! Answer the man God Dammit! 🙂

    Anonymous, Joe has something to tell you!

  6. Being constantly surrounded by white and yellow people, I sometimes forget how much I love my black brothers. But the Dubai 7s, namely Mzwandile Stick, has reaffirmed my ailing faith. Black brothers be fine!

  7. hahahahe, Joe…. I mean Joe, come on ….huh come on?? Did you see that group, LOL, oh well. Anyway, 2 nights ago I went to a function here in Calgary at which the presented a human rights award to a Zim NGO, as follows….
    “a reception for ZLHR, the 2008 John Humphrey Freedom Award recipients.”
    check out

    I had the pleasure of meeting Ms. Irene Petras and fellow lawyer Andrew Makoni and then having dinner with the the following night. They are really brave and I admire their cause.
    Do you guys know of this award and/or its recipients? Did it make any headlines in Zim or elsewhere>

  8. do you live in Zimbabwe. BTW get a credit note next time or get rand change or buy some rolls

  9. Yeah, she just assumed making an ass of herself and Joe. Maybe coz you are black and maybe she is under the impression that black men never have change or something.

  10. Rp thanks so much for that comment. They didn’t really publicize this very well, but I just RSVP’d for tonight’s event in Toronto.

    cheers man.

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