because your life is boring
Here’s a few photos from the inaugural Miss Interbanks competition held at Prince Edward on Saturday night. I was there, I was drunk, and I had a camera.
So I gave it to my brother to take my photos, while I sampled the beverages and checked out the girls! I think I need to sample some of Tetrad’s goods and services!
So Mel and I were on the road this morning, and at the corner of King George and Cork, the big-ass truck in front starts reversing. Then a couple of people bolt from the car in front of it. Then I see smoke rising into the early-morning sky. And we realise: the thing was on fire.
Yeah, I think I’ve arrived at that stage in every Zimbabwean’s life where I look around, dig deep inside and ask myself that age-old question: should I stay or should I go?
Alright, for those of you uninitiated in the pleasures of Violet Moyo’s music, I’m gonna educate your ass. So, there I was listening to Wedgie’s iPod when I came across some of the dumbest shit I’d ever heard, and asked him what the hell I was listening to?
I know it’s rare, kinda weird and naggingly un-patriotic, but I thought it was about time I put down a list of things that erally get on my tits. It’s not all about hating my native country, I just think anywhere on this planet, the following shit would piss just about anyone off.
You have to wonder. Not long ago, Guv of the Reserve Bank of Zimbo, Dr Giden Gn (he’s removed 3 zeroes from his name) introduced the new and ‘convenient’ ZWD100k bearer cheque. Which, of course, is bright green. Now, having wasted all that money and effort, that thing becomes useless in 19 days.
So, Trevor is off to South Africa tonight. Well, if Air Zimbabwe don’t do their thing. Yes, that delay and cancel thing that they do so well so often. I digress. There goes another Zimbabwean, off to the Big Bad Diaspora In Search of the Almighty…uhm…Rand.
So I’ve borne witness to many clangers and howlers in my recent past, but as blonde moments go, this one takes some beating. So during the Spain vs Ukraine game, my white blonde female roommate asks me in all earnestness : ‘Why isn’t Beckham playing for Spain?’
As an ongoing community service, I’ll be writing an occassional “10 Things” list to help other bachelors out there with commonplace situations. You may find yourself in these situations one day, so let me try and help with a few insights and tips, that at face value may appear common-sense, but trust me, we can ignore them. And make bad decisions.
The bloody FIFA World Cup. Flags, floosies, footballs and, of course, flops. Yep, it’s finally over, a whole month of joy and pain and hangovers and missed expectations and beers and hugs and late nights and hangovers again. And bloody Portugal are STILL surrender monkeys who couldn’t beat a cheating housewife, let alone the French national team.
Alright, geezers, what did you get up to this past weekend? I, shockingly, was taken clubbing by me mates at Mambo on Friday night, which perfectly set me up for the braai on Saturday, which was excellent, and the football, which was freekin wonderful!
“I’ve got The Pink Panther” on DVD, are you coming to watch it with me?”
“What?” scoffed Mel. “And watch Beyonce shaking her ass? I don’t think so.”
“Okay, I’ll watch it by myself then…”
And thus began my first recent evening without the joy of football and the comfort of beer.