Not a week passes by without me hearing a story of a mukuwasha who got up and said no, thanks but no thanks, marry your own daughter.
The only way to change this exploitative roora practice is for the guys to stop accepting such nonsense. $10,000? KEEP that money, guy. Lobola is only exploitative and expensive because us gents are paying it. More are refusing, and that heartens me to the core.
Honestly, how are you willing to sell your daughter into a debt-ridden household? Where do they start their family from? Minus 10 grand? Where does he get the money from?
Does he get a bank loan, and for two years he’ll be looking from his payslip to your daughter, wondering what the feck he got himself into?
Are you okay with your daughter walking into a house of debt and poverty? Are you willing to saddle your daughter with a disgruntled chap, who will not accept it if she does a single thing wrong?
What if she has “a headache”? That’s a perfect recipe for marital rape.
Roora is meant to be a token of appreciation, not a get-rich-quick scheme. So, I get a 24-month bank loan just to marry your kid? Then what? As far as I’m concerned, if you get charged high to marry and accept it, ndizvozvo. You’ve been had. More gents need to refuse this shit
EVERY WEEK I hear of somebody saying well, can’t afford that, marry your own daughter. Guess what happens after? They come back crying, calling, come back, let’s talk, don’t be like that.
In this day & age, if a man has the balls TO COME AND MARRY YOUR KID, be grateful for that, because others fire & forget. Then you abuse him?
Personally, my daughter isn’t being bought. Bring a bottle of Blue, meat & your friends, we braai, we chat, you go away. THAT’S ALL! I won’t put my kid into a debt-ridden house, to be abused and treated as chattel.
Culture shifts take time, but here’s a start. We need to get back to the days of lobola as a token of appreciation, not the exploitative extortionate fleecing it currently is. When the guy would make an appropriate gesture to his in-laws, who would accept that without grumbling.
There’s only one way to do that – gents, we need to take that power back.
So comrades, hear me well. RAMBA kucharjwa some extortionate price. Refuse to be abused. Walk away, it’s not worth it comrades. REVOLT!
And another thing, ladies. You’re complicit, because no family charges a guy without you telling them what his story is. If someone gets hit hard, it’s because you’ve been tuning your people that he’s got money, he can afford it.
So it’s time we men simply said no. Either by refusing to marry in the first place (yeah, scorched earth policy) or simply getting up and walking away, if the charges are exorbitant.
These days, it’s as if you’ve committed a crime by committing to a woman.
So boys, memorise these four words – “What? Chengetai mwana wenyu”.