No way, Jose!
You’re such a trip, man. You sit there, smug in your apartment, laughing at the world and mocking people you’ve never met.
The Starving Bachelor wandered Sam Levy’s Village, craving sustenance but unsure where it would come from. He’d already been scared shitless by the menu he’d seen at the Scud & Donkey, and the little money he had was starting to burn a meal-sized hole in his pocket.
How was your Easter? Mine was alright…very quiet, a bit of work, a bit of sleep, a bit of wine…
Keeping up with the state media is a real drag, but sometimes you get a couple of gems to keep you sane. We might not be in the fast lane, but Zim is slowly catching up to the rest of the world in…acceptance.
Zimbabwe yakaoma – we all know this. We’re at the stage where if you don’t jump around, duck-and-dive, shuck-and-jive on a regular basis, you’ll die of hunger my young friend. Fortunately for some, the “down-turn” has presented The Bachelors a unique opportunity for…ahem…exploitation.
It’s Saturday. It’s a real scorcher here in Hahaharare- what I like to call a naked day. Aside: it doesn’t help being naked alone, but that’s another conversation!
First things first: the Stormers won! To all you haters and doubters, put that in your bong and smoke it! There’s a reason I’m looking…
Actually, these are about half the lessons I learnt over the weekend, but I thought these were the most pertinent. The rest aren’t really worth sharing, unless you wanna hear all about burnt spaghetti and how not to get laid.
Usually, when confronted with a little hottie wearing glasses and one of those denim, mini-then-frilly skirts, I try hard to focus around her eyeline, lest my eyes get sucked down to those perky D’s she appears to be sporting. There be dragons.
Being here in the land of the rising sun, its not often that I get to bring out my size 9 dancing shoes. So anywyay, I went to a party a couple of weeks back where I met a white guy. Never having partaken of the fruits of the lighter skinned brothers I must admit I was keen.
Saturday was amazing. One moment I’m formatting and re-installing the world’s heaviest laptop (I think I’m gonna park this thing at home and never move it, haha). The next, my cousin rescues me from work, I’m in the Scud, I’m at a party then I’m in da club. Here’s an update of the interesting bits (you know I’ve left the best shit out, *wink*).