Liverpool 8 – 0 Besiktas
First of all, dude, I don’t know you. I don’t remember your name since my mate introduced us three hours ago. I don’t need it.
You embark on what you believe to be a life-altering experience in the Orient, untainted by hallucinogens or any other mind-altering substances. Landing on the hot humid shores, you find the climes to be nothing less than frosty from the natives. Eventually you get used to people moving away when you sit next to them on the trains, unsure whether it’s because you are fat. Or black. As one South African eloquently phrased it ‘Our blacks smell different’.
I trained as a junior at Chegutu Pirates. Really.
I want to go home.
Jou ma se linke tet skiet rubber bullets.
Sorry I’ve been outta touch for the last few days – trying to get life and my work all sorted out in a new town is kinda hard when it’s 35 degrees every fecking day. But I’ll do my best to address the burning questions I’ve been getting from both friends and haters alike.
I don’t know which sign I currently have emblazoned on my forehead which gives random people the incredibly misguided impression that I care about their tepidly vapid existences. Because I am not sure how the menacing scowl permanently etched on my face can be translated into a come-hither -and-unburden-thyself look. (p.s. There isn’t even the excuse of alcohol!)
Now that I’m finally here, sipping a beer by the pool at Ilala Lodge, I can’t help but think back on my flight yesterday. It’s fun dissing that MA60 plane from afar, but when you’re sitting in that shit taking off, all the religion comes flooding back.
Right, let’s talk facts. Not to sound like a whining little fool, but that English ref did the All Blacks wrong. Two clear examples – that pass to Michalak was forward, and play shouldn’t have been allowed to continue. Secondly, when NZ was pressuring the French line at the end, French hands in the ruck were not penalised.
You know how sometimes you’re in a situation, and you really want to say something, but at risk of ridicule / physical violence / firing you say another thing? When that little inner voice tells you one thing and says another?
On a different note … Dynamos is on the brink of winning the premiership title after 10 years. This, as those who know me will understand, makes a very, VERY happy man.