Mel and I went to the Avondale flea mart to return a dodgy DVD she bought. Granted, buying anything from the AFM is a risk in itself, but in this case it was to replace someone else’s dodgy DVD that she broke.

Not only am I coming back as white, I’ve narrowed down the specifications to being blonde as well. As if further evidence was needed of…

Before I go any further, let me respond to any malicious allegations regarding the “mysterious” Kitkins, who caused quite a stir last week.

Life is a romantic comedy: it’s beautiful and always ends well.

So in my next life, I need to come back as a white woman.

That’s what it says on the front of my king-size packet of Willards THINGZ.

…when you wish you were having fun, and you think you’re not, but you actually are. Cryptic? Read on, be educated.

The dirty sneak. He had to be there, long legs and all, parked in the penalty box to tap in Gerrard’s shot. fecking Peter Crouch.

So I went clubbing Saturday night, to be more accurate I went to a club and spent like 9tenths of the night sitting down. I knew there was a reason that those dancing shoes had been retired from active public service.

…of Southern Africa. Friday was quiet – sort of like the calm before the storm.